How You Know You’re Working With A Great Coach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve just started working with a new coach and was reminded of just how refreshing it is to work in partnership to co-create your life and career with the right coach.

I have never met my coach in person. He works for a coaching company I respect. He has done loads of training and continues to do so. But the thing that impresses me most is his humanness and the genuine compassion I feel from him in every conversation we have. All the qualifications in the world can’t cover over a lack of compassion or empathy. At the end of the day I always trust my heart and every time I spoke to this coach my heart said Yes! Funnily enough I did not fist contact him to be my coach but once it headed in that direction I just knew it was right.

We carried out three initial conversations on the phone where we explored what I was looking for from a coach, then we talked about who we are and what we bring including what makes us tick and our styles of working. I brought to a conversation topics that coaches sometimes shy away from and he walked with me in the conversation and made comments that made me think.

On our third conversation once we agreed that we wanted to work together we had a contracting conversation where we talked through any ethical and boundary issues about the coaching and further teased out what my focus would be for the six sessions of us working together. By the end of these conversations I felt I knew a lot more about my coach, felt excited about working with him and about the possibilities I could create from our work together.

Our one-hour sessions together so far have proved to be very productive. I have benefitted hugely from the quality and depth of our conversations. On our first call he did a mindfulness practice before we started. It was a few minutes of mindful arriving. In that moment it felt to me like an oasis had been created and a clear intention set. His modeling reminded me of some of the good stuff I used to bring to my coaching. Reminding me of how valuable these practices are and nudging me to do more of it.

Our sessions so far have helped me get clearer about those places in my work I thought I was clear about. It has been energising and hugely reassuring and supportive knowing I have the space fortnightly to talk through things I maybe struggling with and to know that the person I am talking with is not trying to fix me but holds a space which activates my ability to connect with my own inner knowing and resourcefulness.

The coaching space is both reflective and reflexive giving me precious time and space out of my schedule to take stock. Because of the reflexivity involved I am noticing where the coaching could stretch me. This is not a bad thing. A healthy coaching relationship is one where you can offer the coach feedback and tweak the coaching so you can make sure your needs are getting met in many ways and on different levels. This way the coaching is dynamic rather than passive. I worked out that what I need to integrate into our work together was a lot more accountability in between sessions. Life and stuff does get in the way and agreeing to concrete actions that are followed up by us both no matter how small can be really helpful.

For me it’s more about calling myself to account and getting into that rhythm and routine of working with myself in the way I would with my own coaching clients and supervises who required this kind of approach.

It dawned on me that I like the idea of completing a written form in-between the sessions and to complete a form before our next sessions.  Although this is not ideal for every coaching client is suits my style. Writing and recording my reflections between sessions and before my next session helps me to stay focused and bring things together. This is something I would find very helpful and will be suggesting that this is put in place for my remaining sessions.

I believe you should leave a coaching session feeling better resourced than when you first went in even if difficult and challenging material is explored. So far my coaching has achieved this. In the middle of our last coaching session my coach reflected back something to me that reached deep into my core. Because we were coaching on the telephone he could not see the tear that rolled down my cheek. But because of my own willingness to be authentic I shared with him the impact of what he had observed.

In a few minutes we had gone somewhere deep. We crossed over into territory that often is skirted around in coaching conversations. Even though our backgrounds are different we found a common ground from which we could navigate the content of the conversation. This in my experience is what makes coaching often a magical process. When I say magical what I mean is we don’t always know where our conversations will lead but you can bet they lead somewhere where you need to go.

I am noticing that even more is gained when I reflect back on our conversations and make reflective notes after each session. In the same way there is real benefit in going back over your recordings in a journal or notebook, your reflective notes can be mined in the same way.

I hope you find these tips helpful when working with or searching for a coach.

I’d love to hear the things you value from working with a coach.

Do post your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.